Who, me worry?

I think that I forgot this blog existed. Baby brain is the shits, and it continues way past the birth of the baby because sleep deprivation lasts for the next 18 years of the child's life (or so I am told)...it could also be early onset dementia but it is 23:36 right now and I slept only a handful of hours last night due to baby Gus's unrelenting baby screams (he's teething I'm sure...or he just deeply dislikes my mom, who was trying to console him so I could try and sleep).  Today Gus will only sleep in his little jungle baby swing. According to the Internet you're not supposed to let a baby sleep the night in those swings, but that's the only place he will sleep. Please give me some suggestions other than letting him cry it out, because I tried letting him cry it out for over an hour this afternoon and he didn't seem that tuckered out when I finally gave in, woke the other two from their nap and brought him downstairs to socialize with the rest of us. Maybe he is feeling my anxiety.

I return to work in two weeks less three days, which actually means a week from Wednesday, which actually means really, really soon. I have a small pit of anxiety in my tummy because I am not sure what I will be going back to, although I have some idea because my husband works in the same hospital and attended a union meeting recently. 

I am not looking forward to the judgements I will inevitably face by going back to work after only 3 months and 2 weeks. I do not know any different. After my oldest I went back after 17 weeks and after my second I went back (though not full-time) after 15 weeks. This is my speediest return to full-time but it seems normal to me...and I am fairly certain that Gus being with my husband will not be detrimental because the older two seem pretty well-adjusted. I will update you on how this return to work goes and if it is any worse or better in this right-wing oil loving town with it's traditional family values, gender stereotypes and subtle male chauvinism. That being said, I am very sleepy right now so I will attempt to pick Gus up so slowly that he will not even feel the movement, and pass him to my mom so she can watch over him for the night and feed him a bottle when he gets hungry at 0300.

Peace,

Michelle D. 

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